Two things that you never want to happen to you:

1. Dave Barry reviews your book.

2. Dave Barry reviews your book.

This book review is the funniest thing I’ve read in some time. Since he’s reviewing 50 Shades, of course, it may be a bit explicit for some readers, but even that is funny.

Barry reviews books like they did in the old days, back in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, when book reviewing was a bloodsport. He doesn’t get as personal as the older reviewers sometimes did, but he certainly has fun going after the book.

Dave Barry Learns Everything You Need to Know About Being a Husband From Reading 50 Shades of Grey | TIME.