Santa, we have a problem. It is this:
Undoubtedly many of you are used to living in areas, as am I, where local trash services pick up yard trash, like leaves and old Christmas trees. We are not so lucky this year. My backyard across the creek neighbors, by example, have suggested one solution:
But it’s, oh, a little too Jimmy Hoffa for my taste. My wife suggested something from That 70s Show in reverse: drop it off in the woods and let it return to the circle of life. I was thinking it’d blend rather nicely in a planter at the local library. We could sneak out there in the middle of the night with the tree and post hole diggers and plant the thing. No one would notice until Spring. Maybe even late Spring.
But we can’t just landfill it. That would be Wrong. Our daughter Grace has named the tree Steve (as she named the Thanksgiving turkey — 2011 was a year of Steves), and my wife has always loved the way it smells, so now the tree is a part of our family. There’s no just throwing it away.
The Philosophy of Contemporary Song 